Love Series Episode IIIc

I do hope you enjoyed the last ride to the Eggon land. Thanks to Ela and her relatives for a smooth flight. Ela won’t be joining us today; hopefully she’ll be here for the next episode.

Today we are headed for Akwa-Ibom State. People always confuse Calabar and Akwa-Ibom to be the same place, but though Akwa-Ibom was carved out of Crossriver State, it is a different state entirely. The names and languages of people from these parts might sound alike, but in the end both, Akwa-Ibom (capital Uyo); and Crossriver (capital Calabar) are two different places.

The Akwa-Ibom people who are generally called the Ibibio people, are found predominantly in Akwa-Ibom state, and are made up of the related Annang community, the Ibibio community and the Eket and Oron Communities. “Ibio-ibio” means short or brief which has nothing to do with height of the Ibibios. Think the name has to do with their brief way of doing things.

Now that you know a little bit about the history and location of the Ibibio let’s find out about “the Ibibio traditional marriage”.

 

When a man proposes to a woman and if the woman accepts, they are then required to go and see the woman’s parents, this is called “Ndidiong Ufok” which means “to know the house” of the lady. You could call it an introduction. During this, not many people are expected to go with the groom, just about 3 - 4 people would be okay, but if more people are to go then the bride’s family must be informed the number of people that will be showing up so they can make proper arrangements, especially as the family of the bride is mandated by custom to cook and welcome the members of the groom’s family like special guests.

The next step is the ‘knocking of the door’; the date for the “Nkong Udok/ Nkong Usong (depending on the dialect)” is set after the ‘Ndidiong Ufok’, So after the family of the groom has gotten to know the house of the girl then they can come and knock on the door and officially ask for the lady’s hand.

The knocking on the door is more or less the same as in the Yoruba tradition or the Igbo tradition, where family of the groom comes and asks for the girl that they are looking for in the house and in turn collect the “list” provided by the Father and elders of the girls family .

In the Ibibio tradition the grooms family has to buy some things for the family of the bride, hence the list, which would include things for each member of the lady’s family from the youngest to the oldest. The day the things or items on the list are to be delivered is called the ‘Uno Mpo’, which means to “to give something”. 
Traditionally, the list is a way by which the groom’s family compensates the bride’s family for taking away a member of their family and reducing the number of hands that would have helped in the farm or with cooking and taking care of the house. Of course today, there are no farms to help out with but tradition remains tradition. The date for the delivery of the items is usually settled on at the ‘Nkong Udok/ Nkong Usong’.

The next thing that follows all these events is the traditional wedding. This is where all the hair and clothing that you would probably have seen in pictures or videos are donned; the bride and groom dress in full traditional regalia sometimes like a prince or princess (depending on their own tastes of course) etc. The ceremony takes place more or less like the Igbo Traditional wedding, from the hiding of the groom to the wife looking for him with the drink given to her by her parents to offer him.

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All these events are handled according to the purse size of the families involved, and in recent times, people choose to do all or some of these events together and sometimes skip some parts all together in a bid to reduce the length of the whole ceremony. 

Well we've made a trip to the North, South-South and the eastern part of naija. Guess our next stop will either be the North Central or the western part of our beloved country. Stay tuned.