It's Relationship Matters with 'Bunmi Jaiyeola.

Friendship & Marriage

Genuine friendship is the foundation ƒσя any relationship and this friendship must be nurtured daily. Friendship represents two people, let’s say a man and a woman standing in opposite direction, but holding hands as they live their lives together and completely opened to their respective destinies while choosing to achieve both destinies together. Honoring themselves as individuals and honouring their relationship as well. They are together because they want to be together and not because they have to be. Genuine friendship is the foundation of a loving partnership.

 It’s always advisable to choose your friends carefully. They have to be people who share the same core values with you (Proverbs 12:26). Only have friends in your life that on balance makes it better not worse. The great thing about friendship is that it’s not compulsory. You don't have to stay with friends unless you want them there. Everyone deserves to have a friend who supports them, who makes them feel good and also makes them happy.

 Friendship on the other hand is often downplayed and seen as an ingredient that is mainly ‘nice’, but not necessary vital in a marital relationship. I always stress friendship in every relationship because it’s a foundation that shouldn't be ignored or swept under the carpet (Proverbs 11:14). For relationships that will lead to marriage, friendship has to come first. Giving time, friendship grows into love and romance. Nothing can be compared to the time spent with someone who isn’t just your lover alone but also your best friend.

 Sibi and Tam have been married ƒσя 20years, sibi describes her marriage as okay.....but lacking in many ways. She wishes she and Tam had more in common, she wishes they could sit and have meaningful conversations. She goes on to say that none of the above seemed important at the beginning of their relationship. Then they were so in love, had an incredible romantic and sexual relationship with each other. Even when they had a disagreement, it was always solved in bed. As the years went by, the passion dimmed and she says she often feels like she is married to a stranger. Sometimes she wonders if they ever 'liked' each other. It’s obvious they truly do not know each other the way true friends ought to.

 Patience and Emeka have been married ƒσя over 30years. Their story is different. They started out as friends and their friendship grew into love and romance. They discovered along the way that they enjoyed the same things, had the same passion in life and had the same goals too. They have always worked and walked through problems they encountered along the way and both will tell you that they truly enjoy spending time together. They call each other '' my best friend'' and do not have to endure those uncomfortable silences that come with having nothing to say to a partner.

 Your spouse is the one you are with daily and together, you face the challenges of life. It only makes sense that getting through the most difficult times, you and your spouse should draw from the strength of the friendship you both share, that way things will be made much easier. If you have a good rapo, a good and solid friendship with your spouse, it will help you both maintain a high level of understanding in your relationship and thus enhance your communication with each other.

Being a good friend to your spouse will create a strong relationship. Remember people are opened to their friends than their partners. So marry your friend.  Learn from Sibi and Tam. Building a lasting friendship with your partner is a foundation that makes your relationship stand and outlast others.

Be wise!

Jaiyeola Oluwabunmi Lillian